"I don't know what to do with my life," I said, wiping my eyes with a tissue.
"Al," my boyfriend, John, said laughing, "didn't you know going into it that it was going to end?"
"I was in denial!" I said through wet mascara. "Don't make fun of me."
"I would never," he said, wrapping me up. "I think it's so cool the way you love books."
This is a normal reaction for me; it's actually the same exact reaction I have after finishing any book by Rainbow (seriously, see here and here). However, this time was worse. This time Rainbow gave me 517 pages of pure bliss and excellent dialogue and everything I could have wanted after reading Fangirl.
And she gave readers another diverse book that was missing from the world.
And she gave Carry On its own story.
My friend, Alison Y., (I have two Alison's for those who don't know), text me the day Carry On hit the shelves of the Barnes & Noble she works at.
"Are you going to buy Carry On?" she asked.
"Is that a real question?"
"I think so."
"It's been on my Wish List since I first found out about it," I said. "Want to buddy read it with me?"
"Is that a real question?"
And every book I read with Alison is even better. There is just something so special about reading a story with one of your best friends and loving every minute of it with her.
I have been working as a marketing coordinator at a publishing company for two months now, and I have been struggling to find the time to read for myself. Lately I have had to catch myself from crawling too far into my own head. I have to stop myself from thinking about being anywhere else than where I am.
But when I read daily I don't feel like I need to be anywhere else than where I am; I travel more in stories than I will ever be able to in this life.
And I've been really struggling with the books I love to read. I've somehow become afraid of loving books like these because there are people who try to make them seem less, but I realized this week that it just isn't true. These books could never be less. And you can never be less for reading them.
"I wish there had been books like this when I was in high school," Alison said. "Someone is going to read this and their world is going to change."
"That's how I feel," I said. "When I read Simon vs. the Home Sapiens Agenda that's all I could think about. There are so many diverse books now."
"I just feel like YA books do something that other genres can't," Alison said. "They are so open."
I feel like I needed a Simon in my life who was a complete disaster, and I needed a Baz who loved him anyway. I needed a book about mages and dragons to remind me that I can still make this world magic.
"I just can't believe it's over," I said, crying next to John.
"But wasn't it wonderful while it lasted," he said, smiling.
"It was," I said, laughing. "It always is."