A few months ago John asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I told him that I wanted something I could wear each day from him. I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful boys out there who can take that statement and venture into the wild world of women's jewelry and purchase a stunning token to show their love; however, my beautiful boy is not one of those. Together, during a FaceTime session, I helped John pick my Christmas present. Now, I've never really had a guy get me a Christmas present. My last boyfriend gave me a blanket, and he only gave it to me because his sister had an extra one. Romance.
I pointed John in the direction of a perfect little Etsy shop, which was extremely difficult, because I'm dating an ex-baseball player who has absolutely no idea how to work Etsy. I think he said something like, "Bertie, this store has over 10,000 items. How will I find the one you want?" And I said something like, "Second row, first necklace on the right."
It was pretty simple after that; however, I was particular about what I wanted engraved on the necklace and what I didn't want engraved, but I didn't tell him that because I knew he wanted to have a little secrecy in the gift. He pretended to not want to buy it for me, and for weeks he acted as if he didn't get it. When I flew into town I sniffed around his room for my gift, but I never could find it.
On Christmas Eve he pulled a little box out of his pocket, and I was so excited that I ripped off the packaging. And I cried. Because John isn't a sappy person, and when he says something he means it. He doesn't constantly flatter me, and it's one thing I appreciate about him, and it's one part of him that drives me crazy, so it was never even a thought that he would have had it engraved with something so magical:
"YOU ARE LOVED"
And when you see that staring back at you, from a boy that looks at you like you're the best thing since his Boxer puppy, you believe it. And it's not the fact that he's saying it to you, but it's the fact that you actually know that you are sincerely loved. And most of us have been loved our entire lives but by people who are supposed to love us. I don't think you really know what it is until someone who doesn't have to love you does. Someone who doesn't have to put up with your foul mood or your smelly breath or your road rage. So I cried because I couldn't believe that he would allow himself to be vulnerable for me. Because I couldn't believe that he came up with something so special on his own. And because what I wanted it to say was so silly compared to what John needed to say.